Zen Warrior Priest
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009Ah’ve taken up a noo job. Ah’m how a Zen Warrior Prist dahn the Fuckme and Firkin.
(Well. Doormen have to be licensed. Zen Warrior Priests don’t)
So as part of me metamorphosis into a guru, here’s me thoughts of the day. You could call them Kennington koans.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and flat battery.
Do not walk behind me. For I shall not lead. Do not walk ahead of me. For I shall not follow. Do not walk beside me. For I may take the hump and twat you one.
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you’ve got their shoes.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking lager.
Then get pie and eels on the way home from Akmal’s Olde English Eel shop dahn the Cut.
And finally …
There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.
Piss be with you.
