Chavity?

Is it a way of life?
Is it a visceral response to the souless social engineering of socialist suckdicks?
Is it the inevitable flotsam and jetsam on the rising tide of genetic detritus that infests our end of empire island?
Is it simply brainlessness on a comprehensive, socially inclusive scale?
Or is it just an endless upwelling of liquid human shite from the depths of your arse?
Who knows?

Like gravity, if you're within its reach, it grabs a hold of you and drags you down. There's no escape. There's no hope. Once you're in its grasp that's it.
Once you've blagged your first Burberry knock-off up the market you're on a vicious downward spiral. You're going down!!

First it's the sad tattoos, the ear ring/nose ring/nip ring and scabby dog.
(Along with the Hepatitis B, dribbly snot & shit on the floor.)

Then it's the sov ring, street king, minge ming, cheap bling, white trainer thing.
(As the cheap cider, Mad Dog 2020 and skunk totally fry any style cells)

After that comes the manky old hatchback with the oversize exhaust, knock-off alloys, picnic table and cranked-up sound system.
(STDs and irate passers-by yelling "If I wanted to hear your shitty music I'd be in your shitty car")

Finally, too wasted to notice or care, yet another community disappears down the Black Hole of Chav.

What does Chav mean?

Who cares?
It's a great insult. There's no good response. You're a Chav and that's that! You're fucked!!

According to Webster's New Millenium Dictionary of English:
Chav is a noun meaning 'the lower class: uneducated and ignorant people' and is derogatory slang probably derived from the Romani 'chavi' meaning a child.

Bollocks!!

This broad definition tars many honest citizens cruelly and undeservedly. Other backronyms convey rather more of the socially accepted meaning:

• Council housed anti-social vermin,
• Cheltenham average,
• Cheap and vulgar, or
• Chatham violent

Chav is not about class, it's about the complete lack of it.
It's about choosing to be a victim, not being born into it.
It's about deciding you're going to be a fuckwit all your life.

Break free. Join the resistance. Stand up and be counted.

So what is a Chav really?

Picture this:

• Gold chain necklace and other tasteless bling
• fake Burberry baseball cap (what did Burberry ever do to deserve chavs?)
• sov rings, (on a Friday the knuckleduster kind that cover two fingers)
• white tracksuits (trousers tucked into manky socks to keep the housebugs out)
• trainers (should be pure white, when trainers get dirty the Chav will mug a small kid for his)
• half-finished tattoos, self-inked
• replica team top (often from some third division English town)
• sweat, spots, blackeye, bad teeth, STD rash, a haze of ming around him
• pit bull on a rope
• all packed into a crappy hatchback with an oversize exhaust playing crappy music, drinking cheap cider and smoking skunk.

Picture something along those lines and you're getting there. But don't blame me if you have nightmares. Chavs are not my fault.

Stand out from the crowd.
Get yourself some great FatChav gear and delight your friends and family.

So what is a Chavette really?

Picture this:

• Gold chain necklace and other tasteless bling
• hair pulled back in a Romford facelift by a JCB, then cemented in place by waste product from a nuclear powerstation
• gold hoop earings bigger than her greasy head
• gold ankle bracelets
• belly stud, nipple rings, toe rings on both feet
• 6 inch microskirt, stretch-mark belly flopped over the top
• 4 inch heels,
• replica team top (often from some third division English town)
• sweat, spots, blackeye, bad teeth, STD rash
• bright tangerine fake-tan skin
• baby on one arm, drinking cheap cider and smoking skunk. (They start young)

Think Black Widow spider and you're getting there.
The female of this species can certainly be more deadly than the male. Or at least skankier.

Stand out from the crowd.
Get yourself some great FatChav gear and delight your friends and family.