Welcome to the Komedy Klub
NO dancing on the tables.
NO throwing soiled undergarments at the performers.
NO sharing of toilet cublicles for ANY reason.
The floor will be cleared for dancing following the last act.
And last orders at half past sunrise.
- Act 1
- Act 2
- Act 3
- Act 4
- Act 5
- Encore
- Outrageous
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
Wot you lookin' at?
What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit!
What do you call a Chav in a box with a padlock on it?
Safe.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted!
Why are Chav's like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
How does a Chavette turn off the light for sex?
She shuts the car door.
If you see a Chav riding a bicycle why should you not run him down?
It might be your bicycle.
What do you call a Chav with half a brain?
Gifted.
What happens to a thought in a Chav's head?
It dies of loneliness.
What do you call a Chav in a suit?
The defendant.
What's got an IQ of 150 and 12 legs?
A hatchback full of Chavs.
What should you do if you run down a Chav?
Reverse over it to make sure.
What's a Chav's favourite ice-cream?
Mint.
Where do Chavettes go to work?
Street corners.
What do you call a Chav at University?
Lost.
Why do Chavs luv 9 carat gold jewellery?
They can't count past 10.
What do Chavs use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One is thick and hairy. The other is a coconut.
What do you call an intelligent Chav?
An undercover cop.
What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Father's Day.
What's the difference between a Chavette and a coconut?
One is thick and hairy. The other is a coconut.
How do you tell the bride at a Chav wedding?
She's the most pregnant one.
Two Chavs in a car without crappy music blaring out. Who's driving?
The Police.
Why is three Chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4.
Why is three Chavs hitting a tree in a Nova a shame?
Have you never heard of global warming?
Two Chavs jump off Beachy Head. Who wins?
Society.
Why did the Chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to. He just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash.
Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger.
And you're right. These jokes are as bad as you'd expect.
Hey, don't blame me. I have no sense of humour. I'm a website.
I may be dynamic but I'm certainly not Flash.
(Sorry that's my attempt at an Internet joke for the propeller-heads out there.)